//bathroom thoughts, w/o proofread.
Have you ever thought that you were different when in a different group? Surely you have thought about it and experienced it before. It's not a really weird thing to to act differently in groups that you are not familiar or uncomfortable with. It just occurred to me that when you are acting differently in a certain group (whether you are really uncomfortable or not), is that your fake self or true self?
You're confused? I am too.
Say you are in a group of friends that you know for a very long time and there is basically nothing that you do not of each and everyone of them. Surely it is clear that one should feel absolutely comfortable with this kind of group. You can talk and do whatever you want to these "besties" and no hard feelings will be felt. Pretty cool.
Put yourself in another group of friends that you have known for maybe few months, just barely know past each other's secondary school education. You might feel some slight of awkwardness and you tend to hold on what you want to say, fearing that you might hurt other's feeling.
It seems to everyone that we are ourselves when we are with our comfort friends and less ourselves when we are not. However. somehow I feel that in both of these situation we tend to lose a bit of ourselves, even if it means to be with friends you've known all your life.
Consider this, you are letting go too much when you are comfortable and holding up too much when you aren't.
How much of us, is really us? Is 90% of the you, you? Do people actually know how to differentiate the you in the comfort group and the you in the other?
When your comfort friends saw you with your new friends, they might be like "oh how come he is so submissive? That's totally not him!", or when your new friends saw you with your comfort friends, they might be like "oh my god, I didn't know he was like that!".
You might be thinking, surely, the comfort friends knew you more than the new friends do. Therefore they know the "real" you more than your new friends do. Most of us tend to think like that. We consider time as a quantity to measure how much someone knows us.
Frankly, time doesn't.
It usually involves several factors such as love, care, bonds and more. Sometimes there are friends that you knew for a long time but yet you can't fully grasp what they would do. We can't always say that we are us when we are with our comfort friends. It isn't.
So when are we, we?
If there is an answer to it, I would say its solitary. Solitude is a great way of expressing yourself. Without the influences of both side of the straw we can really explore the inner self and be ourselves. It is no surprise that some solitude goes a long way in discovering yourself. Before we acknowledge that others know the real us, do we really know the real us? I doubt. Sometimes I can't even figure out what I want (heart vs logic brain). You might be different though, I don't know. I'm no scientist. But one thing for sure, the real you is inside of yourself and only you can fully appreciate yourself.